Social Dynamics and the Church today.

This is a subject that I've been pondering for some time now, and by the providence of God, Conversation of the topic came up within the pass several weeks in my cell church meetings. The church that I attend, is primarily a cell church or small group based presbyterian church. Started out not as such, but is now. The idea being that each cell church acts as a smaller church in the body of a whole. Seems to be okay, but problems are floating to the surface and my views on this model are slowly changing. Given there are many positive spins that can be place with a ministry model as such, but are we as people whom have fallen to sin, capable of such compartmentalized worship of the Lord, let alone, be true to our faith in complete sacrifice. What makes a cell church less likely to develop social cliques within the body of believers versus just having one body? It's original intent to sort of allow for the prevention of such cliques by introducing new people in the church as well as old to others in the body, of whom one would not have naturally conversed with. However, I feel that by means of introducing new members and existing congregants to each other quite effectively, is still creating a manufactured clique. Groups spend and unset time together of somewheres up to 2 years and develop bonds, friendships, and connections. Then at a given day, all cell churches are expected to spit up in to totally new groups and start all over again, the process of developing bonds, friendships, and connections.

To me this has slowly become a heartbreaking event rather than a new oppurtunity to meet new people. The previous groups folks that I've 'connected' with, I had believed to be true friends, that even with the separation of cell churches, would still be in contact, hang out, or even just say hello. This is not the case. To put it bluntly, I've been with this congregation for some time now, and to this very day, I still feel like an 'outsider in my own family.' There are a few that I am now very close with, albeit my current cell church, but just so happened to be a good majority of folks that also experience the same feelings about the congregation at whole. Is it just that the congregants whom were with this church since childhood, have had such a long history together that an inheirent clique pre-existed, and that outsiders are not an integral part of the church family? I feel that there is a flaw with this. Is not to be a Christian to love and be open to all those in the world? So why the exclusivity within it's own believers? If not especially within it's own body of believers. And what is this insatiable need to belong, to be a part of something, a yearning if you will, to be wanted and needed? Christ should be all that matters, the please of the Lord God, Almighty. Yet my own sin, still causes me to ask for more in this life. As well as many others.

I know I believe in Christ, and that he is my saviour, but why still the need for more? Just pawning it all off on sin and testing just doesn't seem like enough of a satisfying answer. Yet, who are we to judge, no. Perhaps the flaws that exist in the social dynamics of the church are there to not only remind us of our sin and short comings, but also to nurture, grow, test, and allow a drawing of our own eyes to the one that makes everything alright. I want to believe that leaving it at that will satisfy my need to be satisfied with such an answer. Perhaps, I'm not believing in the idea enough, if there is even some measurability to the thing.Perhaps the suffering is a nessacary process of sacrifice for a christian. Is this one of the sacrifice and difficulties that are to be seen by followers of Christ according to the Gospels? not just the physical and tangible but the unforseeable and Psychological. Perhaps the change of heart that one feels as a christian is more than just the emotional, but the pain that follows, as well as the realization of things that were not as important to a person before they believed.

For me I would love for a fellow believer to be honest with me and tell me to my face, without the 'christian-ese' that they don't have the answer, and that they too are struggling with the same devices and in adequecies of the human design. The Bible, God's word shows me this everyday, as well as the beauty that is in the intricate details of the supremely inadequate, yet elegantly designed, human form. Yet, I don't care to hear these same things from my fellow brothers and sisters, I care to listen to the reality that is faced with the Christian on a daily basis. Such things as the pressures that believers feel about that fact that over 80% of the world if not more, have some thing to say negatively about christians, let alone hate us. The Fact that the world at a whole, automatically make assumptions about how we should live 'our lives' based solely on the fact that they have seen us pray for our food. The Struggles that all fellow brothers and sisters struggle with the same exact sins as anyone eles in the dark world we live in, sex, drugs, greed, revenge, etc.

However, a good many believers that I encounter, never own up to anything. They either lay all of it on their faith, not Chirst, their faith, or just let things fall off of them and passively take the abuse in the hopes that the action of passivity will show some form of love or in the case of more Christians, show the image of Christ. A pastor told me once, that we christians are no good to God if were dead. I wondered about that statement, what it meant, what does it directly effect as a christian, what does it mean to my life. There are so many ways to look at that statement, but for the now, I think it means, How can God's will be done if there are no believers to stand up and fight. We can't all just stand in front of the barrel of a gun and just take the bullet. Then theoratically, there won't be any christians left. Sure the image may be left, but who will be there to continue spreading the Gospel? If all of us were to be martyrs then who eles left will carry the name and deeds of Christ till the second coming?

Given I know that all believers have different gifts and different talents that God calls them for, but perhaps the idea of Christianity is too tame, perhaps we're too comfortable. Maybe, it's because of the country we live in, America is great, yet how many of us can honestly say that we really understand what it's like outside the US. We have AC, internet, plumbing & running freaking water that is to some relativity safe to drink, and FAST FOOD!!!! Some third world countries can't even grow food let alone FAST! In this world we live in, the US, how can we possible hope to really understand how much the World needs God, Needs Christ, and Needs to feel loved. When we have everything that we could possible ever need. Yes, there are people in need here in America as well, but let's look at the reality and compare. A good many homeless in NYC for example, are able to find food and shelter in different legal and illegal locations. Medical aid to these folks are an issue yes, but that's just it, and issue, meaning that there are solutions, and means to help, just that how hasn't efficiently be discovered with out pleasing those whom have and control the drugs and money. Yet, outside of the US, for many, there are no shelters, no food, & no medicine. Sure we donate alittle bit, but for most of the time, countries like Ghana and places like mogadishu, the supplies never reach the people, yet help their warlords or whom ever it is that is trying to kill the people.

Can you see the problem...there are so many other things that we need to be worried and praying about, and taking action, but here I am a Christian, and I'm concerned about the issues of why I don't like my churches cell church system. Am i pleasing my Lord God? Am I truly making an impact with the struggles that I feel on such a smaller scale of things. I don't know, perhaps I will never know until I die, but what I do know is that I feel that I am not a good believer, and that perhaps I need to give more of myself to God, to Christ and my faith. Will that provide the answers that I seek? I don't know. My will I know is not my own, My heart I pray daily be filled with the Holy Spirit and Christ so that my eyes and ear will hear God's voice daily. Perhaps that is all that I can do now, until God calls me or when my time is up.

-Peace